<aside> <img src="notion://custom_emoji/301077ed-fe9e-81af-9266-0003d8294323/364077ed-fe9e-804f-bea3-007a9dc370e1" alt="notion://custom_emoji/301077ed-fe9e-81af-9266-0003d8294323/364077ed-fe9e-804f-bea3-007a9dc370e1" width="40px" />

Objectives:

• Guide advocates and organizers in exercising shared accountability for individual and collective wellbeing.
• Learn how to address tension without punishment or avoidance (ex. restorative conversations, community accountability agreements).
• Build Power Within individuals and a collective to confront experiences of harm and transform conflict into care. </aside>

Time Required: 30-60 minutes for 1:1 reflection or preparation, 60-90 minutes in a group setting

Resources Needed: Facilitator or trusted point person, paper or shared notes document, meeting space, community agreements/group norms (if available). Optional: Support person, interpretation, grounding items, follow-up plan, private space for 1:1 conversations.

Audience Setting: 1:1 or Group Setting.

Background:

Every group and relationship experiences conflict; it is part of the human experience. Conflict is not a sign of failure; it is a growth opportunity and an inevitability. In spaces where people come together to enact social change, conflict will often emerge as individuals unlearn persistent patterns and hindering habits, challenge oppression, and build new ways of working together.

The key question is not whether conflict will happen, but when it happens, how the group will choose to respond to it. When groups address tension early, communicate clearly, and move forward with accountability and care, they are better able to protect relationships, reduce harm, and stay focused on shared purpose.

Step 1: Pause and assess what is happening

Before reacting, slow down and name the situation as clearly as possible.

<aside> 📌

Guiding Questions:

• What happened?
• Who has been impacted?
• Is this a misunderstanding, a pattern of tension, or a more serious experience of harm?
• What emotions, needs, or fears may be present for the people involved?
• Does anyone need immediate support, safety, or space before moving forward? </aside>

Tip: Hold the awareness that not every conflict needs the same response. Some situations call for a clarifying conversation, while others may require a facilitated process, accountability steps, or a pause in engagement.

Step 2: Address tension early

Small issues can build over time when they are ignored. Addressing discomfort early can help prevent greater harm, deeper confusion, or a full breakdown in trust.

<aside> 📌

Guiding Questions:

• What signs of tension have been showing up?
• What has gone unsaid?
• What is becoming harder to address because too much time has passed?
• What conversation needs to happen now rather than later? </aside>

Tip: Maintain a  willingness to address conflict early and often. Conflict often escalates from discomfort to misunderstanding, tension, and crisis. Early intervention matters.

Step 3: Create conditions for a care-centered conversation

Before discussing harm or conflict, make sure the setting supports honesty, dignity, and accountability.

<aside> 📌

Consider:

• Who should be part of the conversation?

• Is a facilitator or trusted third party needed?

• What agreements will help people stay grounded and respectful?

• What access needs should be considered before starting?

• How will the group reduce the chance of defensiveness, blame, or public shaming?

• Are all parties in a place to resolve conflict, and do they have the support they need to maintain that place of comfort, willingness, and safety throughout the process? </aside>

• Examples of grounding agreements:

  • Speak from your own experience
  • Listen to understand, not only to respond
  • Avoid interrupting
  • Focus on impact as well as intent
  • Take breaks if needed
  • Protect confidentiality where appropriate